Kara NasvigWalking into Spanky’s, a renowned gogo bar in Bangkok, as a bisexual woman was a complex experience filled with a mix of emotions. Saumyaa Vohra, the author, recounts her journey navigating the city’s red light districts and the inherent discomfort that comes with being a woman attracted to women in spaces designed for male pleasure.
Vohra describes the pressure she felt to appear sexier in a city overflowing with beautiful women, leading to a constant comparison and admiration. However, underlying these feelings was a palpable discomfort, stemming from observing the strippers and sex workers navigating these spaces with practiced smiles and empty eyes.
Staying in a neighborhood between Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza, Vohra found herself confronted with the stark realities of gender, race, and cultural politics. She reflects on the unsettling sight of young local women with middle-aged white men, highlighting the complexities of power dynamics at play.
Accompanied by her partner, Vohra initially felt like an outsider in these gogo bars, treated with a dismissive ‘wife’ energy by the women. However, encouraged by a friend, she ventured into the bars alone, seeking a different perspective. At Spanky’s, she found a sense of camaraderie among the women, which made it the only bar she felt comfortable revisiting.
Despite the moments of connection and laughter, Vohra grappled with feelings of anger and discomfort at the inherent unfairness of the system. She reflects on the city’s failure to prioritize the women working in these establishments and the pervasive inequity embedded in the culture.
As she left Bangkok, Vohra pondered how her bisexuality influenced her interactions with the women in the gogo bars. She questioned whether their friendly gestures would have been different had they known about her sexuality, highlighting the ongoing complexities of identity and perception.
Ultimately, Vohra concludes that Bangkok, with its focus on male pleasure, was not designed for women like her. The experience of empathizing with other women and grappling with issues of inequity overshadowed any appreciation for the city’s beauty and allure. Amidst the sea of complexities, she finds solace in fleeting moments of kinship.
